DUMMY DIDN’T DETER DRIVER’S DENUNCIATION
That was no lady beside a guy driving last summer in the QEW’s High Occupance Vehicle lanes.
She was a mannequin, wearing a jacket and cap — just like one that netted a New Yorker a $135 fine for having a dummy rider in a similar carpool lane on the Long Island Expressway in February, 2010.
After a motorist called the OPP, a 51-year-old Burlington man was stopped June 8 near Oakville and charged with driving alone in the marked carpool lanes. His confiscated ‘passenger’ remained tight-lipped.
CANE-WIELDING SENIOR WAS ABLE
Go Granny, go!
Three would-be burglars were no match for a 90-year-old woman who confronted two men and a woman in her rural farmhouse outside Muenster, Germany last August. The senior whacked them with her cane until they fled empty-handed.
Police praised her pluck, but said she risked injury if the trio had resisted.
DRIVER ESCAPES TICKET, KILLS METER MAID
No one likes getting a parking ticket, but a Shanghai, China driver killed a meter maid in September after running over and dragging her. Passersby pulled her from beneath the Audi and police arrested the driver, who had 22 convictions for speeding, parking and other charges.
BROWNIES NOT HOW MOM USED TO BAKE THEM
Three Victoria, B.C. office building employees were admitted to hospital in August after complaining of light-headedness, numb limbs and disorientation.
The brief illnesses were caused by pot-laced brownies — which a coworker unwittingly brought as a treat without knowing her son had hid them in her home’s freezer. Saying he forgot making the intoxicating munchies a year earlier, the confessed cannabis baker faced no charges when a police officer decided there was no intent to share them.
ESCAPE BID DROVE HIM POTTY
A handcuffed Chicago criminal landed in “do-do” while hiding in a port-a-potty after bailing from a moving escort van following a court appearance on parole violation and other charges, police said.
The escape of Cesar Sanchez, 37, who was serving seven years for burglary, caused quite a stink until he was flushed out six hours later in one of 300 toilets at a waste management facility near Joliet. The hunt involved 100 state troopers, search dogs and a helicopter’s infrared heat-seeking gear, but no information was released about the toilet’s cleanliness.
PIGSTY NO PLACE FOR PREZ POSTERS
A Ugandan taxi dispatcher was arrested for “abusing the presidency” with his pigsty’s roofing, walls and food-serving dishes made from old election posters.
George Kiberu, 35, claimed ignorance of laws against using placards from the February election — all featuring Yoweri Museveni, the African country’s president — especially since abandoned posters remained plentiful.
A divorced, fatherless former Greek policeman was arrested in mid-December in Athens and accused of living exclusively for 10 years on benefits for 19 children he claimed.
Since most families have two to three children, officials became suspicious and later accused him of using photos of children he found online, plus fake birth certificates. The ex-cop, who earned $1,300 a month before resigning, was said to have bilked the system out of more than $200,000.
THAT CRUISER’S NO HONDA, OFFICER!
Police in Fangchenggang, China were accused of trying to fool taxpayers into thinking a Mercedes-Benz ML350 cruiser was a vehicle worth $110,000 less. Citizens denounced the trickery after a news agency photo showed a Honda badge plate on the bilingual, “POLICE”-lettered hood of the Mercedes.
EXTRA TIME FOR INMATE WITH COP-HATING TATTOO
A cop-hating tattoo — including a Niagara Police officer’s badge number, a tombstone, a pig and a murder symbol — netted federal inmate Robert Snowdon a fourth year on his three-year sentence.
The accused Hamilton area biker had the images obliterated before a Kingston judge increased his sentence in September, after the Collins Bay Penitentiary inmate pleaded guilty to an action intended to provoke fear in a justice system participant, to impede him in his duties. A photo of the jailhouse art was deliberately shown to his last arresting officer, a prosecutor said.
TIRELESS BUS DRIVER HAS LICENSE YANKED
In Venezuela’s first recorded case of a suspended driver’s license, police in the driver-friendly country parked Caracas busman Ramon Parra, 41, for a year after catching him with too many passengers and a missing rear wheel last May.
DOG SHOOTS OWNER’S BEHIND
A Utah duck hunter became the butt of jokes after his frolicking dog shot him.
The 46-old from Brigham City was with a pal Nov. 27 when the mutt stepped on his shotgun as he moved decoys on a Great Salt Lake marsh — hitting his rear with 27 birdshot pellets. Luckily he wore waders, preventing him from being a worse sore loser for having left the 12-guage on their boat’s bow.
ACCUSED ROBBER BITES CRUISER SEAT — REPEATEDLY
A boozed-up 18-year-old accused car burglar ripped several chunks out of a squad car’s seat with his teeth, en route to jail near Tampa, Florida last Jan. 2, officials said.
Damage to the upholstery was estimated at $300.
BALD CANCER FAKER NETTED $12,000
In a story that disgusted people across Canada, 23-year-old Ashley Anne Kirilow conned kind coworkers and strangers out of $12,000 after shaving her head and eyebrows while faking terminal cancer.
Justice Fred Forsythe gave her only a 15-month conditional sentence, house arrest and 100 hours of community service in a Milton court last April, but did not order restitution. The judge told the former Burlington resident — who had a fresh head of hair — that she committed a “protracted, elaborate fraud” based on a “tremendous craving for attention” from her estranged family.
KIDNAPPER SUES VICTIMS FOR BREACH OF ROBBERY CONTRACT
A Colorado murder fugitive who broke into a Topeka, Kansas couple’s house filed a lawsuit in November against them, claiming they broke a verbal contract to hide him.
Jared and Lindsay Rowley fed Jesse Dimmick snacks and pop, watched a film together to gain his trust in September, 2009, then fled as he snoozed and called police.
Accidentally shot by an officer while struggling for his rifle, Dimmick sued him and the city for $75,000 after being imprisoned for the Rowley’s forcible confinement break-in, then filed a countersuit after the couple sued him for $75,000, claiming intrusion and emotional stress.
Their lawyer said if there was a contract, it wasn’t binding.
COW UNCOWED BY BULLETS, TRUCK
An elderly Fort Pierce, Florida farmer was seriously hurt on Jan. 1 by a berserk cow that charged him after he shot her with a .22-calibre pistol while repairing fences.
His wife answered screams from Oscar Wilcox, 70, and rammed his four-footed attacker repeatedly with her truck, then when that didn’t cow the longhorn, she pumped a few bullets into its face with her husband’s dropped handgun. Police said the bovine, which she claimed charged her in late December, 2010, finally calmed down.
EXCUSE ME, SENORITA, BUT IS THAT A BOYFRIEND IN YOUR BAG?
Love behind bars wasn’t enough for one couple in a Chetumal, Mexico jail.
Suspicious of a nervous woman trying to handle a bulging, wheeled suitcase after a conjugal visit last July, guards found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled inside in a failed escape bid.
Maria del Mar Arjona’s common-law husband was sentenced in 2007 to 20 years for weapons possession. She was arrested and faced charges, likely in a separate holding facility.
NO SAFE BET FOR RICHES
At least two thieves made a hefty, fruitless bid for loot when they stole a 317.5-kilogram safe off an unlocked Nanaimo, B.C. cabinet company loading bay last February.
The owner told the RCMP he bought the 1950s safe in 1999 but the combination didn’t work and there was nothing inside. The only other things stolen from the Lonewolf Cabinet Co., was a laptop computer and a memory stick.
DRUG BUST FOR CRYING OUT LOU
Sounds of joyous lovemaking prompted neighbours to alert Toronto Police just before midnight May 10 about potential domestic violence.
Instead, officers who broke open the door of a Bathurst and Queen Sts. loft when no one answered their knocks found a man and woman relaxing after sexcapades — then arrested them for allegedly having a small drug-making lab.