All at Work
Normally ‘office’ is a place where people are pretty artificial and you can seldom tell as to what they really feel about you.
A workplace is like a melting pot where many people, different from each other, come together. Those who work in an office must have come across the following categories of funny colleagues:
This is a person who is almost always the centre of attention. He is spontaneous, witty and has a penchant for cracking jokes, which might turn a little mean at times, but generally he is harmless. He has a few people that he likes to pick on more than others, simply because they are easy to pick on. People love him because he enlivens the place and gives them that much-needed respite from work. Speaking of work, he might tend to slack off a little at times; but then of course he has that ready tongue that can get him out of a potentially sticky situation.
This is the poor guy who is the antithesis to the jokester. He is the butt of most of the jokes. This guy never has a smooth, ready reply but a tendency to get into messy situations, most of which are repeated around endlessly. But he has a nice endearing quality because he can take jokes quite easily with a sheepish smile. There are times when he gets the joke a bit later than the others which of course causes him a great deal of embarrassment and makes him the butt of even more jokes. This guy is generally a hard worker and likes to mind his own business.
The Hot Chick
Here we are not talking about the nice pretty girl, who does her work on time and is sweet to everyone. We’re talking about that woman who dresses to kill and who has a different personality with everyone: with the boss (if he is of the male gender) she is a simpering miss; with the boss’s son, she unleashes the full-on charm; with the pretty sweet girl, she tends to be sarcastic; the jokester, she treats with indifference; and the pittoo with contempt.
The jokester gets back at her by staging mock imitations of her behind her back and the pittoo just tries to avoid her as best as he can. The remaining male population does everything to attract her attention and the female population glares daggers at her as soon as she turns her back on them.
This person (who might sometimes also be ‘the hot chick’), is the boss’s informant. If there is a nickname for the boss or if someone says something about him which is not so complimentary, this is the person who informs him about it. One is constantly on guard while talking in front of this person and in some cases conversation comes to complete halt when he is around. He projects himself to be a hard worker and always tries to take credit for some one else’s work. Generally, he is sugar sweet, which allows him to catch more dirt if you haven’t realised his true colours. In short, you hate this person, but you are a little afraid of him so you try not to get into his bad books.
The obnoxious guy (could be ‘the rat’ at the same time) who always has a superior expression on his face. He thinks that everyone else is beneath him and isn’t afraid to show it. He tries to assert his authority, even where it isn’t due, for the simple reason that he likes to feel important. Normally, he has a collection of really hi-fi sounding degrees that he never misses a chance to mention.
He always gives the impression that there are many other companies which are begging him to join them, but he is only here because without him the place would crash as everybody else here is such an imbecile. He wears those expensive looking sharp suits (even in extreme summer) and never removes his tie. And if by any chance he has a secretary, then this unfortunate being has constant facial expressions ranging from extremely harrowed (for when the jerk is being his usual self) to relief (in case the jerk isn’t shouting for a change).
This is of course a girl in her mid twenties. She is pretty, hash a sing-song voice and doesn’t really know her own appeal. Completely different from the hot chick, she is friendly with the female staff and inspires a sense of protectiveness from her male counterparts. The jokester likes her and doesn’t make fun of her. The pittoo adores her because she always sympathises with him. If there is a glitch in her computer, five guys are immediately there to lend their sometimes nonexistent expertise.
The boss doesn’t really mind if she makes a minor mistake because it is difficult to scold her; on the contrary he treats her with a little fatherly and sometimes an amorous indulgence.
This is the predator male. He always chats up the young girls and removes himself from their company with great reluctance. He often descends upon them during lunch and sometimes even treats them to lunch in a bid to impress the ladies. He considers himself a ladies man but normally he just succeeds in making the girls uncomfortable with his comments on their appearance and his constant perusal. He considers the men in the office as competition and he isn’t very popular with them. The jokester normally has a lot of fun at his expense behind his back.
The Nice Guy
He is a friend to all the guys and a sort of brother to all the girls. People run to him with their problems and he tries to solve them and if he can’t, he lends an attentive ear. For example, if the life of ‘the office darling’ is being plagued by ‘the hot chick’, this is the guy she will come to. He will in turn try and shield her whenever he can. He isn’t very ambitious but he is a hard worker and keen to help those who ask for it.
A workplace is like a melting pot where many people, different from each other, come together. But, normally it’s a place where people are pretty artificial and you can seldom tell as to what they really feel about you. So, in case you do work in an office, then try an identify yourself. Maybe, if you are one of the above, you just might find how people really view you.